Profits. Expenses. Income. Funding. Taxes.

As a new small business owner, money – in its various forms – is a constant variable doing cartwheels in the back of my mind. While my own inexperience as an entrepreneur has lead me to scrutinize my decisions around spending and lean toward being risk-averse, I often wonder if I’m holding my business (and myself) back by not branching out in terms of resource streams and funding.

“Although the desire for wealth and control seem complementary, as entrepreneurial motivations they turn out to exist in perpetual tension with one another.“
-Noam Wasserman, The Founder’s Dilemmas

Those words stood out to me above all others in this chapter of our reading for ENT 600, and made me really take a hard look into my own motivations as a business owner – What ARE my motivations? The quick answer has always been that I want to be my own boss and make a lot of money, but after sitting with myself on this topic I’m not so sure that it’s an even split, and even less sure that an even split of wealth and control SHOULD be something to strive for.

My business industry is the in the creative and performing arts – specifically, I’m a professional dance instructor and performer (in a variety of styles, but my main offer is Bellydance) – and since the beginning I’ve built my business with the full awareness that this industry is not known for making people rich. For most, including myself, it’s a passion project, often one that starts as a side hustle, or a hobby that got out of hand, and often it stays that way. That’s not to say that there isn’t a desire or a drive for dancers and instructors to grow their business – I think that most would drop everything else if they were given the right opportunity and resources to be dancing, teaching, and performing full time. In my opinion, its the aforementioned “perpetual tension” between growth and control that stands in our way. There is an instinctual pull to maintain control as a teacher and performer. After all, the students are paying to learn from YOU. The audience is paying to see YOU perform. There is often a difficulty in drawing a line between your business and yourself because the two are almost always intertwined from the very beginning.

“The key is to know what they want to accomplish with any given decision….The best way for them to know what to do is to know their own motivations – why are they there in the first place?”
-Noam Wasserman, The Founder’s Dilemmas

As I dig into my own motivations that prompted me to start Scarab Studios, LLC, I must acknowledge that there is a push and pull between my desire to have complete independence and authority on how my business operates, and the desire to benefit financially and have it grow into a profitable business that will last for many years. My vision of success includes financial stability and the ability to be flexible with my time, so o an extent, I know that what I desire from “being my own boss” will require a certain amount of releasing control to ensure that the business can grow enough to support me, as well as itself and the employees I must eventually bring on to support the routine operations.

On the subject of employees: an additional motivation I have to pursue wealth over control is that I want Scarab Studios to be a source of income for multiple dancers and instructors, not just myself. As I mentioned earlier, dance is an industry in which it can be very difficult to support yourself financially. Performers and instructors are generally undervalued for the amount of time, effort, and resources that they put into polishing their craft, and many don’t have the time, ability, or desire to build their own businesses that would support them financially. Part of my vision for Scarab Studios is to create more opportunities for dancers and instructors to earn the income that they deserve. In order for this vision to become reality, my business must grow, even if that means I’m not the sole decision maker.

Conclusion: While my motivations from starting my business to reading this chapter have not changed, I do think that my mindset around them has. The conflict between wealth and control at first seemed like an easy decision: I have a specific vision and I want to make sure it happens. But in my reflections I discovered that my main motivations are not simply to “be my own boss,” but instead what I really want is to create a pathway toward financial freedom, for myself and for others. While I don’t necessarily strive to be “rich,” money does play a big motivating role in my decision making as a business owner; wealth and growth are my ultimate goals.

My next dilemma: Where (or Who) will these resources for growth come from?